My body has been on a rebellion as of late. First cold and flu season kicked my butt a couple times. And there is always the headaches. Now, that last couple of days its been random pains on the left side of my head. These are not headache pains. They are on the surface. Like my nerves are tweaking out and it makes my skin feel a little like its been burned and it is very tender to touch. It started on my face. First my just below my left eye. Then it moved to just by my nose, then by my jaw, then to my ear... etc. etc. It never hurts in more than one place at once, but it hurts all the time. I have had this many times before. Usually the left side, occasionally on the right. Some years back, I had it happen once where the entire left side of my head felt that way for a few days. It was miserable. Strange indeed.
then last night my shoulder started aching. And as I sat rubbing it, wondering if I had done something to it, or am I just getting old, I had to laugh at myself. The last few days I have been an old woman. Complaining constantly about this hurting or that hurting. Lord help me and all those around me when my body really does start to fail. I'll be one of those little old ladies who, when asked how they are doing, will reply, "I've got corns on my feet, burrs in my hip joints, no used of my left arm... how do you think I am doing?". Please allow me to apologize in advance.
Moving on.... on my mind lately....
~ I was very excited about the job prospect when it first came up. So much so, that I was driving poor D crazy by phoning him and asking multiple times a day, if he had heard anything at work, had he talked to GM? I finally got my excitement under control. I have almost reached a level of indifference in my attitude. lol. ~
~ While watching a movie with D the other night... actually, he watched the movie, I crocheted... I was struck by one scene where the character had gone to visit his passed spouses grave. He took a chair and just sat there staring and missing her. The loneliness was astounding. I said to D, how hard and miserable it must be, for those who have no hope in eternity, to lose a spouse, or someone so close. To know you really will never see them again. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anybody. I am so thankful for the promise of salvation and eternity, so that even in death, there is still hope. ~
~ My 3 oldest kids are all starting to get so grown up. Jman is turning more and more into a man every day. There are many moments when I am just struck by how mature is he getting, and how my baby boy will only be with us for such a short time now. Lex is growing into quite a young woman. She has goals and confidence. And yet, there are so many flashes still of the little girl, just bucking up against the world, wanting nothing but to play and have fun. Sam is turning into a full-blown preteen. Our happy go lucky little sunshine girl is starting to get attitude, particularly when her friends are around. The drama is starting. *sigh* Lord help me that I have yet another girl to help guide through the tumultuous pre-teen and teen years if I manage to survive the ones I am currently dealing with. lol ~
~ Our van always starts when I turn the key. YAY!!!! Wasn't all that long ago when I never knew what would happen next I turned the key on my car. ~
~ V is bossy and stubborn, yet sweet and funny little thing. D and I find ourselves laughing, a lot, at things she has done and said throughout the day. ~
~ V thinks Jman is a "cool brother". He was so touched when he was playing with her yesterday, and she kept telling him that, that I swear I saw his eyes glistening! (and he didn't want ANOTHER sister) ~
~ We don't know, yet, what our landlords intentions are, but if they are sticking to their original plan, they will be putting the house up for sale this summer. that means we will be moving as soon as our lease is up in June. Unless they are willing to sign another one year lease, we won't be paying their mortgage while they try to sell our house, and then leave ourselves with that sense of panic when the house sells and we have 30 days to move out. ~
~ I like caffeine ~
~ I used to love to write, stories, poems or even just journalling about things, but lately I have nothing. At least not when I come to the computer to write. Oh sure, when I am laying in bed unable to sleep, listening to D snore, I have all these wonderful ideas swimming around in my head, but come morning light... nothing. I fear turning into a person who has no depth, and no original thought. SCARY! ~
~ I haven't been enjoying cooking much lately. Time to crack open a cookbook I haven't used in a long time and find something completely different to make. I always love when I bust into a new area of cooking and the kids and D all stare at it and poke at it, like children circling a dead thing, poking it with sticks, and question, "what is it?" "Food" is always my reply. Or sometimes, "it's the dinner that I spent the last three hours preparing for you that you are now going to eat, and eat with a smile on your face, or be sent away hungry and with my foot embedded in your hiney." ~
~ I have heard that Australia is suffering from its worst drought in decades. They are trying to figure out how to get mass amounts of water there before next years crops are lost. Australias main crop these days - grapes. Australian grapes get turned into Australian wine. No grapes, well you see where I am going with this. I am very upset about this. ~
~I leave you with this, which has been swirling around in my head recently....
Isaiah 40: 28 - 31
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
