I choose... Part Deux

After waking with a border line migraine yesterday... you know... the pain the dizziness, but not really a migraine because it lacks the eye sensitivity and the barfing. It was a very long day with a clingy baby who just wanted to cuddle, read books and watch movies. We watched one short Winne the Pooh movie. Well, she watched it and I took that opportunity to make some tea, clean up the kitchen from breakfast and then sit and zone for a few minutes. Then back to books and puzzles. It was a long day, that lead into a very busy evening of picking up, driving here and there, fitting dinner into it all. And somehow, it was still a good day.

It seems that we have successfully filled every single weekday evening with activities now. If it isnt one person going somewhere, its someone else, or all going in different directions. We really need a second vehicle.

This is where yesterdays post about choices comes in. I dont like these crazy schedules, so I am choosing to smile through it. I am praying for sanity and patience so that everyone always looks forward to coming home. There was a time, many years ago, when I was anything but enjoyable to be around at home. The kids would stear clear of me. I would get up in the morning and they would assess my mood, then respond accordingly. Most of the time, they would just stay away from me, and try to play quietly or vacate the house all together.

I am choosing for it to be different now. I will make sure that I get time to connect with Darin, for a sanity check, every day. I will not let the hectic schedules on tuesdays and wednesdays wear me down to a growling, snarling explosion waiting to happen. I will find time to just sit and talk with the kids about their days.

I refuse to be the ball in the pinball machine, being shot and bounced around without any control. I refuse to be the pinball machine, bouncing everyone else around, making a lot of noise and on the verge of tilting at any moment. I am leaving the arcade all together. Heading to the park. Bathing in the light, surrounded by the glory.

Ahh, yes... that's better.