Recent events have had me thinking about the past. Not in the same way that I was before though. Not with regret, hurt, and bitterness. No, it seems that my perspective has changed some over the last several days. I've been asking myself, or maybe that voice isnt mine, maybe its God, but the point is that the questions keeps coming up...
What have I learned?
Am I ready to let go completely?
Funny thing is, that I thought I have already processed all of this. But then, are we ever really done processing and learning? This letting go, it's so amazingly wonderful. I feel light. Like a weight has been lifted. The warmth of the sun has reached my soil, and I can finally reach up towards it's warmth, pushing through. Spring has sprung! (You can almost hear a song and dance coming on.. LOL)
I have learned that I am not defined by the events of my past. The rumours that I allowed to be my prison are gone. People will believe what they want. Who cares!?!? Not me!!! I am not defined by the misperceptions others have of me. I am who I am. I am my Father's daughter, with a purpose, with gifts, filled with His love. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a daughter, sister, friend, auntie... I am Shari. Don't like it? That's too bad. I am loved and I love. I am strong, yet fragile. I am a jar made of clay, formed by His hand.
I have learned so much more. I could write a book. My Father, He forgives me and forgets my sins. I wish I could forget, but I am human. I can't forget. But, I can make a choice.
I choose to learn and to let go.
2 comments:
i'm in the midst of this journey myself. forgiving myself, getting past rumors and accusations & mostly trying not to let guilt and shame overcome me.
it's good to catch up with you, shari!
God is good! this made me think of a song, I think I'll blog it.
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