New Look - New Outlook

As I lay in bed unable to sleep last night, I had one of those moments. You know the ones. The kind where you suddenly become SO aware of your humanness. Where all your flaws, weaknesses, inadequacies and inabilities to acheive your divine purpose just become larger than life. It's like an epiphany, only dark and completely sucky!!

But the suckines only lasted but a moment. Before me lay a choice. In no way was I going to allow the enemies dark whispers cloud my heart and mind. Get thee behind me! So a choice was made.

So now what? Well, I'm going to try something new. I am going to be spending a lot of time in the next while retraining my thought process. Refocussing the lense per sai. Nay. Changing the lense! No longer am I sporting the zoom lense that accentuates the negatives. From now on its wide angle all the way. The bigger picture is my focus.

I beleive that in doing this, to see things from a little further away, with the background clearly in view, I can see again the beauty that is life all around me. No I am not depressed. What I am saying is that my focus is off. What I realized last night was how much time I spend thinking on the things that I am not able to do. Not enough time for family and friends. Not enough energy for household chores. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. And it's totally true, that when I focus in all the "not enoughs" I truly will be not enough. But I was designed for more. We all were. Time to get out of myself, change my lense and capture some of the view the Designer has of and for me.

As I spend the next little while refocussing, and reprioritizing... I could use a lot of prayer, support and accountability from my family and friends. Yes, working on a new outlook, and I expect for it to be battle. Definitely need some warriors in the battle with me.