So, I am a stay-at-home Mom.
I love my job. It's a blessing for our family. There are many who wish they could stay home, but can't. There are also many who should stay home, and can stay home, but don't. But, I digress.
While reading a friends blog yesterday, she spoke of the struggle to get by, day to day, as a one income family. It struck a chord with me, as we are constantly wondering how to afford things we need. But that is not an uncommon thing. Most families are not without their financial worries. And, we do believe that God will provide for our needs.
While reading a friends blog yesterday, she spoke of the struggle to get by, day to day, as a one income family. It struck a chord with me, as we are constantly wondering how to afford things we need. But that is not an uncommon thing. Most families are not without their financial worries. And, we do believe that God will provide for our needs.
It's more than this though that has been on my mind.
We made the decision to be a one income family as this is what we truly believe to be the best for the children. Sure, there are sacrifices. We can't afford to buy our own home, so instead we rent. We have only one vehicle. The kids don't have the coolest clothes or things. Our furniture doesn't match. Some of it is down right ugly. BUT, the kids can be in after school activities. (Any parents with kids in daycare know that it is hard for the kids to get involved in extra curricular activities at school) The kids can count on me being there to help with homework, to take them soccer, basketball, choir, etc..
Darin works hard. He is a good provider who takes that role very seriously. I see how tired he is, and how the burden of finances weighs on him and I feel like I need to do more. "If I went back to work, the extra money would relieve the pressure. It would make a difference." Darin and I have danced to this tune quite a few times, and it always ends with him saying, "No. There isn't we need bad enough to put Vicki in daycare, and take you out of the home." And yet, I still feel guilty.
Yup. Guilt. It is a special gift I have. I carry it around with me everywhere I go. There is always something. But, right now it's this. I know that being the stay-at-home Mom is the right thing for our family. Yet, I feel inadequate, as I am not a provider. And then, when I think about that, then I feel guilty for feeling that way, cause I should be content and grateful that I am able to stay home. So in goes the knife, and TWIST. Ugh.
Any thoughts from other stay-home Moms? From working Moms?
We made the decision to be a one income family as this is what we truly believe to be the best for the children. Sure, there are sacrifices. We can't afford to buy our own home, so instead we rent. We have only one vehicle. The kids don't have the coolest clothes or things. Our furniture doesn't match. Some of it is down right ugly. BUT, the kids can be in after school activities. (Any parents with kids in daycare know that it is hard for the kids to get involved in extra curricular activities at school) The kids can count on me being there to help with homework, to take them soccer, basketball, choir, etc..
Darin works hard. He is a good provider who takes that role very seriously. I see how tired he is, and how the burden of finances weighs on him and I feel like I need to do more. "If I went back to work, the extra money would relieve the pressure. It would make a difference." Darin and I have danced to this tune quite a few times, and it always ends with him saying, "No. There isn't we need bad enough to put Vicki in daycare, and take you out of the home." And yet, I still feel guilty.
Yup. Guilt. It is a special gift I have. I carry it around with me everywhere I go. There is always something. But, right now it's this. I know that being the stay-at-home Mom is the right thing for our family. Yet, I feel inadequate, as I am not a provider. And then, when I think about that, then I feel guilty for feeling that way, cause I should be content and grateful that I am able to stay home. So in goes the knife, and TWIST. Ugh.
Any thoughts from other stay-home Moms? From working Moms?
11 comments:
Rod and I have made the decision that I should stay home after my maternity is over. We feel that the most important thing right now is that I'm there for Payton. We don't want her to be in day care if we can help it. I am going to be doing some daycare and hopefully that will help. That being said my maternity isn't even over yet and I'm already feeling guilty about staying home. I know that it is the best for Payton yet I worry about Rod having to take on all the finances. I just said to him yesterday "are you sure it's ok that I stay home?" He has assured me it's what he wants. It's funny how we don't see raising our family as a job. It's the most important thing I can do, I just hope we can pull it off!!!Anyways you are doing a great job, and with 4 kids it's more like 2 or 3 full time jobs!!
Hi there Shari :)
The most important thing you have is the love in your family. It will be there whether you are at home or at work.
Having said that, I think if you took a part-time job, you would end up feeling guilty because it takes time away from being with the family. It's tough being a mom! I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to "do it all." You have a wonderful, loving family that you are proud of. Be proud of yourself for all the hard work you put in to make it that way :)
Hey Shari, I am not in your situation, but i know those who are, and i can relate in certain ways - like i hardly make any money at all with my current job. But hey, I have an idea... would you be interested in doing something for work from home that is really flexible and benefits others?? email me, i'll tell you more... I've just decided i'm doing it now and i'm very excited. :)
-Leah
I'm pretty sure I told you this before....
stay with V as long as yu can. Daycare sucks Ass!!
However.......
There is always the part time job option.
Josh and Al are old enough to babysit. 1 or 2 nights just to get your own money couldn;'t hurt.
Then you're not paying for daycare.
Take leah up on her thing. Working form home is always the best!!!
You did the Watkins thing before. Maybe there is something like that available to bring a few extra dollars at the end of the month!
Worth it for more than just the money i bet!
Hey Shari,
I work afternoons and nights. Shayne works graveyards. We see each other 10 minutes a day. We both get quality time with Brayden. I get the mornings, Shayne gets the afternoon and Grandma or cousion Brooke gets a few hours before he goes to bed. I thank God for letting me go back to work. I believe that it has enriched our time together. Brayden was sooo happy to see yesturday. It made me feel so special. I am not to sure how much longer I will be working these shifts, but for now this is what works. Mind you, I was suppose to only work 24 hours, due to events @ work, I started working 40 hours 2 weeks into my job. Now I am just rambling.....have a great week,,,dont feel guilty...cause you feel worse when you are out of the house...trust me!
You may think that being a non-breeder that I would say something ignorant like "get to work !" But in reality, were I to reproduce, I would absolutely do everything possible to be a stay at home mother (because I'm married and able to financially do so). It is proven, study after study, that one parent (either gender) staying home with their kids is definitely ideal. And yes, it takes concessions and sacrifice on both parent's parts. But when you have children, THEY are who you live for. THEIR development, growth and welfare comes first above our own wants. Rock on for being a stay at home mom, and doing whatever is takes to make that a priority. Your kids benefit from it !
I think when we CHOOSE to bring another individual into this world, we need to immediately consider what is BEST for that new person. CAN we ( or I ) be THERE for them? CAN we ( or I ) provide for them? CAN we ( or I ) give them the life they deserve? As soon as you're pregnant these should be the first considerations, because (a) this new human being comes first now and (b)these are the things all human beings deserve.
(LOL sorry to preach, just really upsets me that so many people make babies without thinking of the KIDS NEEDS FIRST...)
PS
You ARE a provider !
You are a MOM !
You provided LIFE !
not preachy at all Char, just truth. I totally agree. Being a parent is the single most important job on this earth.
Thanks to you all for the accolades and the support.
I am not at all ungrateful for the opportunity to be home, I just see the toll that the long hours and such take on my hubby and wish I could help. But, these are the choices we made, to do the best we can by our kids. So we will keep on keepin on!!! The blessings are many!!!
Something to consider as well, is that you used to be the bread winner. You had to go to work to provide the necessities for your children. I know that when it's my turn to stay home, it will be very strange for me as well.
Shari, you'll feel a lot better about keeping little Vicki out of daycare when you look at this huge anti-daycare website!
I am not a mom at all but I can just imagine the benefit that your kids have becuase of your dedication to be a stay at home mom. That is something I can only dream of being able to do some day. ANother one of my dreams is to be a nanny or something. I love kids. You are very blessed to get the chance to stay at home. Your kids are benefitting greatly from it, I am sure of it.
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