How many people have in-laws that they love and can truly say they like? I am very blessed to have wonderful in-laws. I just spoke with my Mom-in-law on the phone and thought of how I missed her and Dad-in-law and all the family. Our family is very spread out. Darin's family is spread out over four states. We are the only ones in Washington. My family is spread around BC. My parents live about a 6 hour drive away. I have no way to contact my brother as he currently does not have a fixed address, and therefore no phone, nowhere to send mail. My extended family is less than close, except for Uncle Jack and Aunt Anna. I have my second family, and close friends who are much closer, but they all live in Canada. So it is expensive to call and its not often that I get to see them. I love all these people and wish I could see them all more.
Then there are our kids. They have their 'other' parents. Josh and Lexi's dad lives in Canada, but they are able to see him regularily. Sammantha's mom lives in Minnesota. She spends each summer out there and alternates Christmas and Thanksgivings there.
Our society/culture is so different from so many others out there. I wonder what it would be like to live with my parents, my husband, my kids, my brother, his wife, my ancient cantakerous grandmother all in one house. Or with my husbands family, there could be up to almost 30 people in one house. I bet divorce rates are lower in cultures that live this way. I mean, how could you fight, scwander money, and/or cheat with the entire family holding you accountable?? On the other hand, how do you find time alone to keep the intimacy alive in a marriage?? But then you have an extended network to draw on for help with raising your kids, role models, babysitters, etc. I can also imagine there must be many many disagreements about all that too. It is actually very difficult for me to even imagine what it would be like. If I lived with my cranky grandmother, I might have to push her out a window or something. I'M KIDDING!!! mostly. But the point is that it's just such a foreign concept. In our society, most people would just laugh at the concept. Children fight over the aging parents. Not over who wants to have them, but over why the don't want to have them.
Anyways, all of this was cause talking to my Mom-in-law made me miss our families. I miss my Mom and Dad. I miss my brother and his wife. I miss my in-laws. (But, no we aren't moving to North Dakota). I remember being a teen and not being able to wait to get out of Mom and Dad's house and be on my own. Make my own rules. Or none at all. Now I look at my kids and I know that sometimes they feel that way and as they get older they will more and more.
I just hope they miss me when they strike out on their own and build their own lives. I hope they know how much I will miss them. Just thinking about it, I already do.
2 comments:
ahw! Muck!
i love you and miss you so very much. You know I've never kept it a secret how I feel about you moving. My heart hurt so badly to lose you. I know you'll say I didn't lose you, but I sure did. You left. Got married. Your focus changed. as it should. My heart broke.
So I try protect myself form the pain. Much as I'm doing now with Mike.
I lost you I gained him. Will it reverse now??
I can't call or see you whenever I'd like to need to. you were instrumental in helping me with Charlotte those first 3/4 years. I couldn't have done it without you.
I know you are not far away timewise. But you are not easy to get to.
Went for a drive with charley today to just Get out. Of course I've been not well emotionally. Went across the river. Thought of my friend.
I need you and I miss you all the time. I've tried pushing you away to protect my heart and I can't. You help me be who I am. And now you and your children have done the same for my daughter.
You are my special friend, my sister, my bond, my companion in life for awhile.
I was left very lonely when Darin moved here. ( Not his fault by the way.)
Blogging has helped me in so many ways. One of them is being close to you again.
I thank-you.
Kristi, you are the sister I never had. You are the friend who held me when I cried, kicked me in the ass when I needed it, picked me up and dusted me off with words of encouragement, and who helped me learn to be me. I can't beleive how long we have known one another. It is so rare for friendships to endure that long and so through so much change. But then, you were always more than a friend, you were my sister. And now, Charlotte is more than my friends daughter, but more like a child of my own.
I'm glad we have this way to connect, now that life has made it harder than just going upstairs to hang out with you.
I had MUCH fun with you the other night, and hope we can have a girl's night again soon. MWAH!!
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